I'm currently sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery unable to move even though Cope is finally napping. I have so many thoughts about this new life of mine and I need a way to get them out. I don't have many close friends with new babies (besides you shar) that I could endlessly talk baby to without feeling bad. Here we go....
1. Who knew I would love being a mom more than anything I've ever done before? Why didn't someone warn me that this would be my greatest accomplishment and that nothing could compare to the feeling of protectiveness and love I have for my Cope? So many times throughout the day I loose my train of thought due to the overwhelming feeling of happiness and love I have for this baby and my new role as mom
2. Breastfeeding is hard. Pumping is hard... both are hands down the hardest most demanding thing I've ever done. Way harder than pregnancy.... no warning about this. My boobs were like rocks on day 4 and when my milk came in I freaked out because my boobs were spraying Cope in the face and I had no idea what to do! I screamed for my mom and she frantically got the pump out of the box and helped me figure it out. THANK GOD FOR MOMS!
3. How many times are people going to ask me if I'm getting any sleep? Cruel.... cruel to remind me of the interrupted sleep that is my new life. You already know I'm not... so don't ask me if I am. Luckily I worked night shift for the past year and I have that to relate to. So far baby tired does not compare to all night working and only getting 3 hours of sleep tired. I remind myself that when I'm up at 2 am with Cope.
4. Hello multitasking! So far I've pumped while simultaneously shaving my legs in the shower. I've pumped while blow drying my hair and pacifying Cope. Superwoman status! I am holding Cope as I type... add that to the list.
5. Coffee... I used to think I needed coffee working night shift.... pfft. I legit need coffee now and if food doesn't follow the amount of coffee I consume and follow it soon... I'm in so much trouble bring on the next point
6. The hunger the first week after giving birth was unreal, like tears if I didn't eat within 10 minutes of waking up... breastfeeding I am hungry all the time. I am way more hungry than when I was pregnant.
7. Holy crap this baby.... he smiled at me on purpose for the first time at 7 weeks old. I thought my heart was literally going to burst. When I was pregnant I was slightly terrified of how Cope would shape my day to day... I can't jaunt off to Starbucks in 5 minutes, go to barre at anytime I please, or go to see the latest movie. None of those things mean anything to me now as cliche as it sounds. A few people told me that I would be so ready to go back to work but when they were telling me this I already knew they were so wrong. I had a feeling that Cope would become my person and I selfishly want to be around him every hour of everyday. My goals are still there but this little boy is the center of my universe now and how I reach those goals will be a little more worth it with more motivation than I could have ever had. I've never been more proud of myself as a mother.
No comments:
Post a Comment